Category Archives: Humor
On False Flag Zombie Attacks in July
When the CDC starts talking about zombie attacks, DHS buys more ammunition than God and calls out all Federal Agencies to prepare for (something) at 100% strength with two weeks notice… while a Zombie blockbuster movie scares our pants off… there might just be something to worry about.
When do Zombies act on behalf of National Security?
by H. Michael Sweeney
copyright © 2013, all rights reserved. Permission to repost hereby granted provided entire post with all links in tact, including this paragraph, are included.
Federal zombies may be in our future
OK, this might be tongue in cheek. MIGHT BE.
But it is completely factual (scary movie music rises). I just saw a couple of video blogs (streaming Web radio) where one of my kindred spirits (translation: conspiracy theorist, or on a good day, as we prefer it, investigative reporter) was interviewing someone claiming to be in the know: DHS, FBI, FEMA, and just about every other agency, military as well, have been ordered to bring all manpower, reserves, and resources, to 100% capacity by July 3, and to stand by for further instructions.
I’m not comforted by the fact that ALL the search engines can NO LONGER FIND THIS WARNING no matter what I type in (it would have helped if some of the words were not in use in gazillions of other vids, too). Thing is, two days ago, it was EASY to find using the same words. Who has the power to do that? No matter. I’m on the job. A few ones changed to zeros in government’s Internet won’t stop me.Note: This kind of censorship and information manipulation is one reason I formed nnn.osp.org to create a 100% citizen-owned-and-operated wireless Internet alternative where there is no ISP (no monthly bill), no government or corporate censorship, spying, or control: YOU are the Web!
In trying to solve that problem, I encountered something which revealed even more useful information than I was searching for. The CDC is apparently involved, too. We are talking about a terror drill involving a ‘fake’ outbreak of (something awful). Wince. Gee. What could that be? Well, I got to thinking. Recall the CDC warning about what to do if a zombie attack broke out?
Well, they claimed that was tongue in cheek, too. But I’m starting to wonder. Have you seen World War Z? Nothing seems far fetched after that! I mean… first CDC puts out the defense guide… then DHS buys enough ammunition to kill all the extras in WWZ (and every citizen in North America, with order quantities in Satanic numbers, no less)… not to mention enough coffins to take care of the half-eaten bodies… and now DHS, FEMA, FBI, the National Guard, (and CDC) are manning up for something very big.
And even if not Zombies… let us not forget that some guy named Kokesh (not related to David Koresh) is planning a ‘Million-man’ armed march on Washington, D. C. on July 4th. I mean… Damn! I don’t know what it means, but what I’ve more recently learned does not make me feel any better about, it all…
Why is terror drill set to coincide with Scout Jamboree?
Terror Drill Set for Scouting Jamboree
The orders for these agencies are to be at 100% by July 3rd, and then to stand by. Turns out, unless a cover story for a general Martial Law (you don’t suppose Kokesh is going to end up in a shootout with Feds, do you?) move to seize power by the New World Order, that there is to be a terror drill in Yellowstone during the Scout National Jamboree (July 15-24). But wait one minute; is it not true that at almost EVERY major terror event blamed on some turban wrapped, kidney machine toting, Koran spouting man with a beard… that there was simultaneously a terror drill of the same exact sort taking place at the same time?
Is that not the HALLMARK of a false flag operation? You create an exercise or drill on the same date in the same community for the same kinds of details (e.g., type of attack, type of target), and then, if the people really responsible (no turban, kidney machine, or Holy book) happen to get caught before they can pull it off, you say ‘It’s OK, they are with us, and everything is coolness.’ Where have we seen that used before?
A few places. The Sarin gas attacks in Japan. Sept. 11. The London Subway bombing. Bombing in Madrid. The Norway mass shooting. Even Aurora and Sandy Hook. Retired Army Intelligence Officer, Captain Eric May has said, “The easiest way to carry out a false flag attack is by setting up a military exercise that simulates the very attack you want to carry out.”
Are Zombies real after all?
Zombies on parade
Again, ‘tongue in cheek’ can only go so far to making one comfortable about the facts. Also while searching for the missing radio show links, I instead found some disturbing video — tons of it, in fact, which claim to evidence real Zombie attacks, including one faked ‘secret FBI briefing.’ But only one of these bothers me enough to deserve sharing, as it is a montage of real news stories that are quite shocking and, collectively, imply there are real people out there who are certainly acting like Zombies, and who are apparently quite hard to kill, too.
But that’s not the only disturbing thing about the video.
The second is found at the end of the long-winded (classified) reading of a (classified) Bill on the Senate Floor that (classified) seems to regard some kind of (classified) serious catastrophe, and what government is going to do about (classified.) At the very end, as if a causal afterthought of NO IMPORTANCE, the reader quotes, “and draft a NEW BILL OF RIGHTS.”
E X C U S E ME?
A new Bill of Rights? What’s wrong with the one we have such that once this (classified) happens, it is no longer useful? To me, the ONLY scenario where that makes sense is if the country has become an official Police State under perpetual Martial Law, the result of a military (classified.) Well, let me tell you if I see even a hint of that taking place, I’m going to (classified) and (classified) and all of (classified) had better double their (classified). Even if they claim it was the Onion Congress.
Well, that’s all I can think of to say about something that is so far fetched and based on ‘less than mainstream’ resources. So I’ll simply leave you with the original video which started the whole thing off. I did find it. But I warn you, it is not the sort of thing I would normally care very much about paying attention to now days, given the veritable flood of such ‘sky is falling’ reports on YouTube.
However, I also remind you, in my book set Fatal Rebirth, and resulting screen play published on the Internet in 1999, that the sky was going to fall in New York City, raining passenger jets upon the World Trade Center, and resulting in Middle East Wars. Some of us Chicken Little’s base our warnings on a bit more than conjecture. You can get a free ebook copy of Volume One, and see what else I’ve correctly predicted, and what things I’ve warned of which have yet to transpire.
It also behooves me to add, here, that as a specialist in privacy/security who helps targeted individuals and deals regularly with Political Control Technology… that I should mention that some estimates are that the government has created up to two million ‘sleeper’ agents using Manchurian Candidate mind control methodology. If true, we are talking about programmable people who can, with a simple text message or other signal, be launched off on almost any kind of mission with no recourse or understanding. Blindly obedient.
Such people can be made to believe any unreal circumstance, or believe themselves to be anything or anyone, and are often capable of exhibiting super-human traits (such as seeming to be bullet resistant). I’d hate to think about what would happen if a flood of such persons were unleashed thinking themselves Zombies. They soon enough would be, for all practical purposes. I’d not want to be in their warpath. World War Z, indeed.
- False Flag Biological Attack Expected This Summer? (pakalertpress.com)
- National Scout Jamboree 2013 False Flag Insider Warning (thetruthseeker.co.uk)
- NEVADA GOVERNOR CANDIDATE Warns BOY SCOUT JAMBOREE MAY BE NEXT FALSE FLAG (secretsofthefed.com)
- May 21st Is Judgment Day So Begins the Zombie Apocalypse (wholesalecostumeclub.com)
- The Government’s Knowledge of the Zombie Apocalypse (costumediscounters.com)
- False Flag Insider Warning – National Scout Jamboree 2013 (oneworldchronicle.com)
- Mass Casualty Terror Drill Planned for July 2013 During Boy Scout Jamboree (2012thebigpicture.wordpress.com)
Informed Citizen of the Web… or Just Another Web Walleroo?
Try this short and fun test to see how dumbed down you might be…
Who knows? You might even be (gasp!) a Sheeple!by H. Michael Sweeney Copyright © 2012, all rights reserved, Permission to duplicate in unaltered entirety with links in tact hereby given but please advise with URL via Comment or contact to proparanoid at century link net.
A Walleroo is a kind of kangaroo.
A Web Walleroo is someone who hops around a lot on the Internet but doesn’t do much besides leave an occasional footprint of their passing through the digital landscape. They hop in and hop out with the briefest of glimpses and seldom stick around to actually absorb messages intended for them. Even when they do, they tend to do nothing useful with the information, being quick to gather visual fluff and short ‘textual or video sound bites,’ but sloth to consider actual substance and knowledge that might challenge their dumbed down state of mind. Got to hop on to the next visual bite!
Why the test? Because I note that while I may post advice to 6,000 ‘friends’ in groups of alleged mutual interests on important topics, less than 5% tend to take note and check out the material offered, and of those (say 300), less than 2% will bother to like, share, repost, rate (page top), or retweet. So I was wondering… is my writing style that bad (mostly get 5 stars when they do rate it) or do I just have nothing useful to say… or am I simply friends to a lot of Web Walleroos.
You can help me answer that by taking the test (or simply tell me you think my messages are just no good). I can deal with rejection very well, thank you. I think…
So take the test: Don’t worry if a given answer seems low or high, as they are used in calculations in unexpected ways. Everyone has some level of interest in ‘fluff’ matters of personal interest and some level of interest in more serious matters. This test attempts to quantify and measure one’s degree of interest in these two areas, and thereby to indicate their standing as either (Web citizen) Netizen or Walleroo.
You also needn’t worry if the answer seems unflattering to your sensibilities, because you can easily change your score by simply becoming more involved with the things that truly matter in life. Remember Aesop’s fable about the Ant and the Grasshopper.
Moreover, like all such tests derived by people too smart for their own britches (that would be me), it is not ‘scientific,’ and assumes much not in true evidence. It may therefore not truly reflect your actual status any more than a Political Poll really reflects who is actually going to win an election.
Straws. We are all grasping for straws. But that’s what makes it fun, isn’t it? To see if we can actually catch a straw and find it the right one? Give it a go…
Test questions (pencil and pad in hand), First section:
If you don’t regularly watch TV at all, skip this section (good for you).
How many times a week to you watch a network news show> Jot the number down, and again a ways to the right of it to make a second column with the same number.
How many times a week to you watch a talking head news/political commentary show? Jot it down, then multiply by 2 and jot that down in the second column.
How many times a week to you watch a reality TV shows? Jot it, then multiply your answer by 3 in the next column.
How many times a week to you watch a celebrity gossip/entertainment/talent show? Jot and multiply by 4.
How many times a week to you watch a sitcom or late night host show? Jot and multiply by 5. Underline these answers and add the columns up and write down the answers.
Now, think hard about the years just prior to Sept. 11 attacks and look at the total number of times for all shows. Ask yourself if you think as you look at each category if you likely watched notably more television then, than today, about the same (+ or – 10%), or notably less?
If less, double the second column total and jot it down just beneath it. If the same, do nothing, we will use the number directly. If less, divide the multiplied number in half and jot that down (approximate whole number is fine).
This is your ‘TV Media Impact‘ Score, which reflects how much of a chance your opinions, attitudes, and ACTIONS are altered by television.
New section: draw a line
How many Web Social Networks do you belong to or blogs, groups or causes do you regularly visit on line? Jot it down
Beneath this, jot down the total number of times you log into or visit them each week in total. You may wish to use margin space to jot down each one and add them up if you can’t do it in your head.
Multiply the two numbers and jot it down in the second column.
What is a typical number of times you like, share, comment, or rate someone else’s post or blog in a week – ONLY those posts which are NOT about personal matters but are actually about causes and topical matters of a more serious nature externally impacting your life, the country, or the World. Jot it down in the second column.
What is the typical number of times you like, share, comment, or rate where the topics are more of personal interests of less serious nature than the above. Put it in the second column and underline for a subtraction.
Subtract the second from the first. If less than zero, use zero.
This is your “Social Media Impact score.”
New Section: draw a line
Now subtract Social Media from TV Media and jot it down as a single, middle column. If less than zero, use a minus sign and keep going. You can probably do the rest of it in your head from here on.
subtract one for each real-world (e.g., Greenpeace, Republican Party, Garden Club, Exercise Club membership) or Web cause to which you belong and made a cash contribution or pay a membership fee, or have to go somewhere to participate.
Subtract one more for each such group to which you have attended at least three meetings in a year, and subtract five more for each instance which required overnight travel.
Subtract five for each attendance at a protest rally or public forum/debate, and five more for overnight travel, and 10 more if you participated as speaker or open dialog with a speaker, and 10 more again if you had an unpleasant confrontation with Police or other participants as result (stern words or worse).
Subtract 25 for each Web site or blog page, Cause, or Group you personally created and manage on the Web which has to do with the serious type of matters.
Circle this last result, which your final score for determining your status: Netizen vs. Web Walleroo. Lower is better as you may by now have guessed…
0-5 You are a concerned and aware citizen.
The closer to zero, the more active and informed you are compared to others on the Web, and the more potent you are as activist both on the Web and in real life (they amplify your power in one with the other). you’ve probably Read at least one book each by Ayn Rand, George Orwell, Adios Huxley, and Hunter S. Thompson. You’ve read the Constitution and Bill of Rights and something by Thomas Jefferson SINCE school days, know at least two Constitutional Amendments for which you can correctly identify their number and purpose, and you know what Posse Comitatus refers to.
Now, if a negative number, you are a subversive radical
Yes, just like me, and as result you are probably being watched by one or more government agencies! Better read my book, The Professional Paranoid: How to Fight Back When Investigated, Surveilled, Stalked or Targeted by Any Individual, Group, or Agency. You tend to be a Truther and think the FED, Congress, the IRS, the UN, the Bilderbergers, the National Debt, and Terrorism are just forms of phony baloney. You have pet conspiracies you follow and probably believe in UFOs and mind control. GOOD FOR YOU! Right on all counts!
The larger the negative number, the more lists you are on with government, and the more likely you are to end up targeted by a Drone for surveillance, liable to actions sanctioned under the NDAA, have a FEMA Camp bed with your name on it, or likely to enjoy targeting with Political Control Technology (e.g., voices in your head, microwave assaults, street theater and gang stalking, etc.) You should use FOIA with all of the initialed Agencies of government to see how many files there are opened on you and what they are willing to tell you is in them. The more redactions you see, the more of a terrorist you are considered to be, and the more sophisticated resources they are throwing at you in order to keep tabs on you. In other words, THEY FEAR YOU! You are being a PATRIOT who questions government!
5-10 You are wishy washy on controversial matters, not terribly concerned that all the bad things out there can have too much impact on your life, but probably enjoy watching it all unfold, a form of entertainment. You join groups but don’t participate and probably don’t contribute. You sometimes shrug your shoulders and may catch yourself saying any of the following. ‘That may be true, but we can’t do anything about it.’ ‘As long as it isn’t me, I’m not sticking my nose where it don’t belong.’ ‘They probably know what’s best.’ ‘If you have nothing to hide, it shouldn’t matter.’ When you do choose to participate, it may be a contrarian remark or criticism, an attempt to change the subject.
10-25. You are a Walleroo! You should become more proactive in your beliefs, and perhaps should be taking a very close look at just what you do believe, and why. Challenge your beliefs to pass hard tests as proposed by those who believe contrary, and the truth may just set you free. This can alter (adjust) your priorities to be more in line with your true needs, which you’ve likely been hiding from yourself. You may even be that Ostrich with its head in the sand as the Lion approaches, hoping that if you can’t see the evil, it will not see you — like the Ravenous Blugblatter Beast of Traal, which is described in the Hitchiker’s Guide to the Universe this way…
The Ravenous Bugblatter Beast is so mind-bogglingly stupid that it thinks that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you. Therefore, the best defense against a Bugblatter Beast is to wrap a towel around your head.
More than 25? You are not only a Walleroo, but a Sheeple! You are probably perfectly content to buy whatever media and government hands you as Gospel, and tend not to care too much about scandals where they are caught lying to you, stealing your tax money, having sex with under age moist cigars, and the like. You are an adamant consumer of products and likely a staunch Republican or Democrat who accepts party line as the only line because that’s what your parents did.
As long as you can continue to enjoy your small World of pleasures you have defined for yourself (like the Grasshopper who preferred to play his fiddle than worry about things to come), you remain content. You have a towel wrapped around your head at all times, and will not even know what hit you when evil finds you. Now, hop off happily to the next bit of fluff, if I haven’t already lost you somewhere around the definitions – because if you are still reading this, I doubt we are talking about you, at all!
If you enjoyed this in any way, shape or form, I KNOW you will enjoy my companion post on calculating how much money the Federal Reserve has cost you personally. Its a bit more complex, but far more interesting and shocking in results.
- Dissent Without Permission: Will Protest Permits & Free Speech Zones Halt Or Hasten Rebellion? (corporategreedchronicles.com)
- Political Parties are Like Entertainment for the Compliant Sheeple (libertarianreview.us)
Updated: Confidential Conversations that Never Happened…
A parody of real-life mechanisms in conspiracy cleanup (coverup contingencies)by H. Michael Sweeney permission to duplicate granted provided reproduced in full and all links remain in tact, with credit given to the author and proparanoid.wordpress.com as source.
James holmes is a patsy in a false flag operation
Update Aug. 29, 2012: As result of the popularity of my multi-part post on the Aurora shooting which is the most exhaustive review of facts to date, and because of the revelations the investigation involved in the effort have afforded, this post is woefully inadequate and no longer reflects the true concerns. Therefore, this update is actually a major rewrite to make it more in harmony with the true facts, rather than the early conjecture available on the Web at the time of its first writing. Additions or changes heralded in red. Any original material remains in tact, but in
strike-through text, as I do not wish anyone to feel the material may have been censored for any other cause. Article begins:
Whenever the official story starts to have cracks in it, the cleaners go to work in Wag-the-Dog fashion, and power is applied to the weakest pressure points to make things ‘better for all concerned.’ As one CIA operative (one of the clean-cut train hobos at Dallas in ’63 set to cause a ruckus if the Grassy Knoll escape plan looked like it might be compromised) told me, “History is what we say it is, and it will not be changed by you or anyone else.”
Er… OK. But don’t fault me for trying the truth now and then, and forgive me with any liberties I take in the absence of good solid news reports full of details and hard facts… a matter which always makes me wonder what we are really dealing with…James holmes a mind-controlled patsy? Come the terror at night, or by day, the citizens Plight is, or it may, be which one is right, by what they say, who is guilty of the fright, and how shall we repay? I wrote that with Aurora in mind, but it applies to a long American history of dark bumps in the dark, does it not? James holmes is a patsy in a false flag operation
Added section: Ring: The receiver is lifted, but no greeting is offered, the Executive seated at the expansive desk in a plush office recognizing the calling number.
Voice on line: “The script will be ready on July 20. Adjust your plans accordingly.” The line went dead and the Executive hung up, and then dialed a number of his own.
Executive: “I’m green lighting Drum Roll. Production can begin at once, with a shooting date set for July 20. Make sure the cast and props are ready by then, and there are no problems in the storyboarding and rehearsals.” And then he hangs up.
Note: Double speak is the intelligence community perfected ‘art’ of speaking in the open about something by couching key matters in allegory or parable form. In the above example, we see how someone in the motion picture industry might talk about a film production… that was really something else… Drum Roll being the role played by the drum magazine in the shooting. Storyboarding means contingency planning, and rehearsals means that everyone knows the plan forwards and backwards. The script refers to the scheduled date of the theater shooting exercise which ‘just happened’ to be being held the same day of the shooting some ten minutes away off the same Freeway access as enjoyed by the Century theater. Interesting because high-risk intel ops such as would be true of a false flag operation, tend to employ a similar ‘drill’ for a like event on the same day and in the same city. This provides a cover operation so that if an operative is compromised, they will not be arrested and the plot can be aborted without exposure of the truth. End of added section.
James holmes is a patsy in a false flag operation
Ring: “Hello? News reporter here.”
Recognized voice: “The word’s going out to all our newsies… be sure to point out he had over $20,000 in high-tech equipment,
and have another story by someone else suggest there is reason to believe there were Islamic ties, and be sure to play up the gun violence angle. And be sure not to mention he worked on that DARPA* project to develop super soldiers. That U.N. Treaty must be signed!”
News reporter: “But the shooting just happened. There’s been no time for an investigation, yet. What’s our source?”
Recognized voice: “Don’t worry about that. Just say ‘sources close to the investigation,’ and people won’t be smart enough to know any better… except for the ‘conspiracy buffs’ which you already know how to deal with.”
News reporter: “Right. By simply calling them that and ridiculing them for it. Got to hand it to Walter Cronkite for making that work so well in the JFK thing.”
*D.A.R.P.A. Defense Advanced Research Project Agency
Note: Walter was ex Army intel, and would have been a logical go-to person as part of CIA’s Operation Mockingbird which infiltrated news media with, by various estimates, over 1,000 operatives from CIA or on their payroll under the table. Since JFK, no conspiracy investigation has made good headway because media keeps trotting this excuse to ignore the valid questions of civilian investigators and investigative authors, or Engineers, Pilots, and other professionals who come forward with challenges to the official explanations. As one well known Comedian like to say, “I don’t get no respect, you know?”
James holmes is a patsy in a false flag operation
Ring: “Hello, Police Public Spokesperson.”
Recognized voice: “You have to stop talking about the possibility of the shooter having help. He’s a lone nut, nothing more.”
Police Public Spokesperson: “But people are trying to figure out how he got he got the larger weapons into the theater and all that gear. We already have one witness who’s been quoted as seeing someone open the Emergency Exit for him.”
Recognized voice: “Don’t worry about him. We have that covered. And don’t worry about what people think. We tell them what to think. Just do as I say.”
Police Public Spokesperson: “O.K. If you say so. Has everyone else in the loop here been so advised, or do I need to have an excuse to pass along?”
Recognized voice: “The key people are our people. We have it all covered, just like L.A. with the RFK matter.”
Note: In Robert Kennedy’s assassination, the Radio Dispatcher who controlled what Cops did that day and the Chief of Police were ex CIA. No wonder cops did not pursue the Woman in the Polka Dot dress, and the L.A.P.D. destroyed all the evidence which indicated more shots were fired than contained in Sirhan Sirhan’s gun, and did not protest that the fatal wounds came from the other side of his body where Thane Ceaser, a security staffer to a CIA involved military contractor had been walking directly behind Robert at the time of the shooting.
James holmes is a patsy in a false flag operation
Door shuts behind the lone interrorgator (spelling on purpose), and he takes a seat before the exhausted man at the desk. Interrorgator: “You told our people at the theater that you saw
someone open the Exit Door for the shooter a second smoke grenade thrown from the opposite direction?”
Eyewitness: “Yes. I couldn’t see who
because it was silhouettes against the movie screen might have thrown it.”
Interrorgator: “That’s impossible. We know the shooter was a lone gunman, and had no help. We have lots of people lined up who are going to be saying they saw it differently.”
Eyewitness: “I know what I saw. I was not more than ten feet away, and
he crossed in it flew right in front of me.”
Interrorgator: “That’s not what you saw. The confusion and fear of the shooting has simply confused your memory. All you saw was
someone getting up to take a leak or buy some popcorn. He never opened the door was some action on the theater screen from the movie… your mind has simply played a trick on you and filled in the blanks.”
Eyewitness: “No. I’m certain.”
Interrorgator: “Listen, kid. I’m going to lay it on the line for you.” Grabs him by the collar and jerks him halfway across the table. “I’m telling you, and you’d better listen up real careful like, you didn’t see that, you were confused. If you tell anyone you saw that, something bad might happen to you. There are a lot of people upset about this, and some of them have tempers and are looking for someone to go after. They don’t think very clearly, and I’m trying to keep you from getting seriously hurt… or your family for the matter. Do I make myself clear?”
Eyewitness: “You’re threatening me? With those people watching behind the mirror with cameras?”
Interrorgator: “You’re Goddamn right I’m threatening you.” Slaps face. “I sent those people on break and killed the camera, but in five more minutes, I’m going to call them back and we are going to be asking you the same question I started with, and you had better damn well tell me you were confused, or you and yours have NO F***ING FUTURE.” Shoves him back into his seat. “Do we agree on that, or not? Because if not, I can’t protect you!”
Eyewitness: “O.K. O.K. You win. I’m confused. I didn’t see anything except someone going to get popcorn.”
Note: Something almost identical to this happened to witnesses at JFK, RFK, and MLK, as well as the Flight 80o shoot down. Witnesses are often ‘told what they saw’ and told they were ‘confused by events,’ to allow investigators to later say their initial statements were not useful because of duress under stress impacting their memory.
James holmes is a patsy in a false flag operation
Ring: “Hello, Fire Department.”
Police Department: “We need you to take a Ladder Truck over to the shooter’s place and look in the window for us.”
Fire Department: “Why? We’ve never done anything like that before. What’s going on?”
Police Department: “We just want to make sure its not booby trapped. You need to tell us if it is so you we can send the Bomb Squad out.”
Fire Department: “Did the shooter say something to make you think there’s a bomb?”
Police Department: “Uh… sure. Yea. Something like that.”
Fire Department: “Well why not just send the bomb squad.”
Police Department: “Well, uh… I’m just doing what I’m told. I think they want high visibility with the press. Uh… you know… to make everyone look good. You will look good. We will look good… on TV… our small community will look good on national TV.”
Fire Department: “Whatever you say, Chief.”
Note: At a disadvantage with no concrete facts, there may have been a legitimate reason for asking the Fire Department to participate. Yet they did eventually send the Bomb Squad in and the first thing done was to use robots. Did the robots go in the window? Not that I’ve seen on video. No, they went in the front door. How do we know this? Because we have video of the bomb squad breaking out a portion of the window which would have needed to be removed if using the window for insertion of robots… doing so from the inside after the robots had finished. So why would there not have been a booby trap on the door blowing the robot away? That’s the FIRST thing I’d booby trap if of a mind to booby trap anything.
James holmes is a patsy in a false flag operation
Ring: “Bomb squad.”
Familiar Voice: “Be sure to blow a lot of stuff up at the practice demolition site afterwards.”
Bomb squad: “Why not just use the portable unit we always take with us? There’s nothing here large enough to require the demolition site.”
Familiar Voice: “TV coverage. Want to look good on TV, don’t you? Besides, the order comes from the top.”
Bomb squad: “Fine. We can have the rookies get in some practice at the same time.”
Note: The portable units (Mobile Explosion Containment Units) can contain significant blasts, but are not necessarily used for on-site demolition of bombs. They would perhaps prefer to instead transport explosives to a demolition site, as the units provide increased safety for such transport. However, some devices might be judged unsafe for transport, and should perhaps be destroyed at the crime scene. WHEN MULTIPLE DEVICES are found, there are several interesting possibilities which drove my inclusion of this portion of the dialogs.
a) The devices were too large to detonate on site. But we know that is not the case because we saw them on TV and they were small explosions (keep in mind that they use explosive devices to explode the bombs, so whatever blast you see is necessarily larger than the bomb by itself would have been.) Further, had this been the case, they should have likely been too large for collective transport, exceeding the safe operating limits of the mobile unit. But they were not shown making multiple trips to accommodate multiple bombs, so we again know this was not the case.
b) Despite the number of devices, their cumulative potential for damage is collectively within the ability of the chamber’s ability to safely transport through populated streets. IN SUCH A CASE, the bombs would normally be disposed of at the bomb squad’s facilities as a SINGLE BLAST. But we saw video on the news of multiple blasts in close proximity. This CONFIRMS they were not big blasts individually, and should have been done as a single blast. Why not? I can think of only one reason: Publicity stunt.
James holmes is a patsy in a false flag operation
Added section: Ring: “Executive speaking.”
Voice on line: “There’s been a problem with that special script for Drum Roll. It hasn’t been received by the Publicist.”
Executive: “Well where the hell is it, then?”
Voice: “We think it might be lost in the mail room for some reason.”
Executive: “Well get the… ah, you know… the ‘Director of Security’… to go search for it, then. That’s an important matter useful to Advertising and Promoting Drum Roll to the viewing public.”
Voice: “How do I do that? What do I tell them is the reason?”
Executive: Pauses. “I don’t know. It’s your job to solve problems like this.” Pauses again. “But try this; tell the Publicist to call the Director and complain about a suspicious package… and use that to get Security involved. Use your imagination.” Slams the receiver with a curse.
Note: Director of Security is their contact in the Police Dept. The Publicist is the Psychologist, or someone acting on her behalf. For some strange reason, the Psychologist indeed contacted Police about a strange package which showed up on her desk with no name on it, which turned out to be nothing but a text book being returned by a student. The explanation was concern, after the news about the bombs in James’ apartment, that it might be a bomb from James — in which case I wonder how James managed to put it on her desk while he was under arrest. For an even stranger reason, Police then searched the entire mail room to find the ‘script’ James allegedly mailed explaining in detail his plan to shoot up the theater. Strangest of all is that it was sent 8 days prior to the shooting. End of added section.
Next dialog, and the last, most telling of all…
Interrogator: “O.K., James. You want to tell us why you did it?”
James: “Did what? Why I am under arrest?”
Note: Jame’s reaction after the shooting is no different than Sirhan Sirhan (RFK), Jack Ruby (Oswald), David Chapman (John Lennon), Arthur Bremer (George Wallace), Squeaky Fromme (Reagan), and John Hinkley (Reagan), and others: No attempt to escape, in many cases going limp or calmly waiting nearby for arrest. Many of them have no recollection of the event, or have a single line of ‘political’ thought on it which they repeat, or start to explain and then just at the critical moment, change the subject.
These are all known methods of dissociation symptomatic of programmed Manchurian Candidates who are incapable of ‘confessing’ the truth, as they genuinely are not aware of it. In this case, we know he simply waited in his car and put up no resistance. What we don’t really know is if he has told the Police anything at all, but must presume not, or it would have been all over the news in some form or another.
So I’m taking the liberty and risk to assume, here. Please forgive any Ass made out of You and Me thereby. If I’m way off base, I’d be just as happy with the thought you may have gotten some entrainment value from it… because if I’m not off base, we are all going to end up mad enough to bring down the government and lynch some people.
James holmes is a patsy in a false flag operation
Please rate this article at page top, tweet/share, and comment. All comments welcome, good or bad.
- Official Formula For Conspiracy Coverups (proparanoid.wordpress.com)
Like or Hate Me, You May Wish to Quote Me
Posted by Author H. Michael Sweeney
If I had a dollar, or even a dime for every web page that mentioned or quoted me or my works, I’d be a millionaire: 12 million pages can’t all be wrong; people repeat what I say. Where else but America can you become ‘famous’ for putting your foot in your mouth on a regular basis?
by H. Michael Sweeney proparanoid.wordpress.com proparanoid.net facebook
copyright © 2016, all rights reserved. Permission to repost hereby granted provided entire post with all links in tact, including this notice and byline, are included. Please comment any such repost to original posting.
What you will get by reading this post…
• Silly quotable one liners, gags, and full-on original jokes;
• witty quotable witticisms, wise sayings, criticisms, and other malarky;
• non PC quotable political snipes, barbs, and ruthless rhetoric;
• thoughtful quotable philosophical wisdoms, advice, and beatitudes.
My most popular writing today has been copied by permission on hundreds of Web sites, and reproduced in at least a half dozen books. So I know I’m quoted out there. It is even used in college courses on Political Science, Journalism, and Psychology. It’s called the 25 Rules of Disinformation, and includes not just how to spot disinfo, but how to out it and defeat the user in public or private venue.
This post is (mostly) a collection of my most popular Facebook posts. People generally like them, unless on the wrong end of the barb. Even then, the resulting dialogs have been interesting, and we tend to remain friends. But most people on Facebook do not ‘go looking’ for something to read, they let Facebook automatically send them random samplings in their ‘feed.’ It is really best to FOLLOW someone you like (also true of my blog posts); the only way to insure you see everything a given person posts (or blogs), is to follow them (subscribe — click that option now, while you are thinking about it.)
So, even if already a Facebook friend, it is highly unlikely you will have seen very many of what follows: a random grab bag of quotable material. Now, if you do actually choose to quote me, please do cite me as the source, and link either to this blog Page or the whole Site, or my Facebook page. New friends are welcome there, of course. You can quote me on that!
You May Wish to Quote Me (I do it all the time)~
If I had a dollar, or even a dime for every web page that mentioned or quoted me or my works, I’d be a millionaire: 12 million pages can’t all be wrong; people like what I say. Where else but America can you become ‘famous’ for putting your foot in your mouth on a regular basis?~
You may have noticed that I’m imminently quotable by the way I continually quote myself, because after all, “I’m imminently quotable.”~
The only good thing about putting my foot in my mouth so often is that I always know if my shoelaces are tied, or knot.~
T’was an LL Cool Day
(apologies to LL Cool J)
I saw an Armadillo while visiting Amarillo;
he sat near a willow, upon a satin pillow.
In the sun, bright yellow, this reclining fellow
seemed to be quite mellow, eating a bowl of Jello
while listening to a fellow who played a loud Cello.
Were I to say hello, I feared I must such bellow;
that seemed such a peccadillo, I ne’er met that Armadillo
If Google spies on your searches, shouldn’t their name be Goggle?
If Yahoo does, Youwho?
If Facebook tracks your info, Factlook?
If YouTube censors excessively and politically, LubeRube?
If television is propaganda, Tellyourmission?
If a newspaper is the same, Newsfaker?
If the Oval Office is a source of lies and skullduggery, the Shovel Orrafice?~
From conversation agent.typepad.com (click for their similar answer to meaning of life)
The meaning of Life? To take all gifts entrusted to you by God; Free Will, life, and the Soul which defines the inner you, and the gifts you earn through life; knowledge, talent, skills, wealth and possessions, experiences and positions… to edify yourself, edify others (family, those above you, your peers, and strangers), and above all, edify God in the doing. This is true Glory, and the source of Blessings.
To the extent you do this, you yourself fabricate that meaning. To the extent you fail to do so, you dilute or even destroy it. Any faults or failures you have along the way are challenges in learning, and otherwise non sequitur to the equation. This is true Faith, and the source of Happiness.
Don’t focus on them, learn from them, and go on. You are what you’ve been waiting for, all along. Stop looking so hard for simple answers, and stop struggling so hard against battles predestined to be won by the righteous. If God be for you, who can be against you? This is the true foundation of Peace, and the source of Strength.
The meaning of life, is YOU, and I’m glad you have friended me. As I wish for me, so I wish for you. Thank you for sharing this Sunday with me.~
Wisdom is sometimes knowing how to seem wise without anyone’s means to challenge. After struggling to the top of the mountain to ask my one-allowed question of the Guru, he preempted with an answer: “Yes, my Son,” he said, “you have at last made it to the top. Now leave me in peace.”~
I wonder if Pavlov’s Dog’s got that way eating Pavlum? Probably not, it wouldn’t make me salivate.~
You know your’e an alcoholic and an unpleasant drunk if people invite you to their parties the day after, and you are so sloshed you think you just got back from it.~
I’m sorry, but I think I misunderstood what you wanted me to consider about what you probably meant by saying what you thought I would be able to relate to as allegory to the intended thought you had in mind, but couldn’t articulate because you were afraid I would misconstrue it as something else. What were we talking about, again?~
A dirty joke is to humor in a way exactly like the Presidential election is to politics.~
Rain falls in drops because it’s happy water. When it’s mad, watch out for hail.~
Oh, old Crow, so cautious and suspicious,
not like the Goose, who’s calm with aplomb,
your caw is such an appalling loud calling,
unlike parakeets most cheerful earful,
or eagle’s shrill cry from high in the sky.
Your old black cloak does fail to evoke
the visual delight of a Parrot, so bright.
You walk with a hobble and a wobble,
where a Robin bounces and pounces,
and the Stork is stilted and often is tilted.
And though your flight is quite alright,
it’s not as stunning as a Bird, Humming.
Lacking the Hawk’s glide so full of pride,
sans any formation of Geese’ inclination,
nor is it as swift as can be a quick Swift.
Your Murder is a suspect some fear to detect,
and yet, I suspicion, it’s all mere superstition.
Yet do not away rush, my criticisms to hush:
let not any objection be seen as a rejection;
I do like you old Crow, so brag on, and crow.
To escape vile fate I must get past that damned wall;
because if staying here, I’ll not likely survive it at all.
I tried to climb upon it, up high, no good, then higher,
only to find it topped with wickedly sharp razor wire.
I tried to go around it, hoping an opening I would find,
but it surrounds me completely, and I’m trapped inside.
I tried to dig under, tunneling deep, deep underground
but impassable boulders and water did me confound.
To escape my foe I must get past that heartless wall;
I’ve no choice; to give up certainly means my downfall.
I’ve asked for help from all near who might could hear,
they refuse to give aid, yielding to their own dark fear.
I’ve prayed to God to help, to redeem and set me free,
but I’m afraid in here, even He can’t hear me or see.
Then came a gentle voice advising firmly to be still,
“I’m with you always, as is my gift of strong Free Will.
To escape your foe, you must get past that mere wall,
and there is yet one thing you’ve not tied, not at all.”
My thoughts reeled, and the answer came in a flash,
I’d not yet tried attacking head on, the wall to crash.
I gathered my courage and backed up for a good run,
and ran headlong screaming at the top of my lung.
I hit that wall with all my brute force, and hit it hard:
knocking myself unconscious right there in that yard.
To escape my foe, I’ve tried it all, to get past the evil wall;
but nothing has for me worked, no not one, nothing at all.
I awoke quite dazed, my fist clinched in pain and my rage,
the voice had not well helped me, its advice was not sage.
But regaining my feet, a white robed figure there stood tall,
amid the rubble of that same accursed, impassable wall.
“You’ve escaped your foe,” said he, “right through the wall;
not by your strength, nor luck, but that on me you did call.
The miracle you sought was within you right from the start,
your faith in me was all it took; and abiding love in your heart.
If God be for you, no man or thing against you can stand,
when you hit that wall, I was there with you, hand in hand.”
Sorry if I insult you. Being poor, I have to go for the cheap shots.~
Any man can toast his friends at the tavern. But a brave man toasts his enemies. That’s why I always carry a can of lighter fluid when I go drinking.~
I never quite chimed in with the 60’s by wearing bell bottom pants – until I got kicked in the groin.~
I’m never inclined to eat carrots. I just can’t see my way to do so.~
Linear or Columnar?
A rhythmic rhyme in a single line is often quite fine.
but most like a rhyme
to be of many a line,
or to metrically align; be symmetrically sublime,
or perhaps its just fine
to enjoy any old rhyme.
I’ll not vote for she who does cackle
when refusing a tough query to tackle.
While not happy with alternative Trump,
he’s still better than a kick in the rump.
While Dems are OK with criminal lies,
and Establishment Reps swarm like flies,
a candidate ripe for an email blackmail
risks a serious national security fail.
A lot of drinks call for two fingers of this or that liquor, so I always look for bartenders with really big hands.~
The path to illumination in the darkness is called a sidewalk.~
I do not like this Uncle Sam, I do not like the health care scam.
I do not like these dirty crooks, or how they lie and cook the books!
I do not like when Congress steals, I do not like their secret deals.
I do not like this speaker Nan, I do not like this ‘YES WE CAN’.
I do not like this spending spree, I’m smart, I know that Nothing’s Free!
I do not like their smug replies, when I complain about their lies.
I do not like this kind of hope. I do not like it. nope, nope, nope!
There are rarely times when ‘actual’ sex is as good as ‘fantasy’ sex is imagined. However, they both involve a little ‘t’ & ‘a.’~
The only ‘gun control’ I support is that question in the mind of the criminal intent on causing trouble, “Will he remain in control of his fear or temper, or will he pull the trigger.”~
If Trump is such a chump we’d rather dump,
and Uncle Bernie is ample wormy and too squirmy,
and Hillary far too shrillery under FBI drillery,
with liberally bias in the press giving truth no redress…
Does that mean Biden is bid’n his tim’n in decid’n if rid’n
White Knight like last minute to the Demo’s pandemic…
Is that how we’ll be decid’n who’s presidential presid’n?
Is that Obama’s last prick on his way out, his hat trick?
That I won’t at all be abid’n, down too far we’ve been slid’n.
Yes, wine is quite fine when you have the time, or dine,
but weed has more speed if you have the need; do proceed.
The joke for this bloke is that I cannot smoke, nor toke,
and shrink from such drink – an alchoholic’s dread; brink of stink.
Dope lacks hope that I’ll survive or cope its scope,
so here’s my fears (why I’m lacking cheers amid tears):
this guy will die having never daring a high to try.
That hex did vex untill realizing that the Rx is sex!~
Never hiss at a snake; the conversation could be deadly.~
Do you know anything of the Entymology of Entomology,
or is it to you as confusing as the synopsis of synapsis?
(What difference does it make?)
As I have previously stated,
I am quite totally devastated
not to have been reinstated.
I have frequently formulated
and as often have postulated
just why I’m not yet reinstated.
The cause, you see, is equated
with rumors and lies oft related
to prevent my being reinstated.
They shout with glee, as if elated
with prideful egos thus elevated,
for blocking my being reinstated.
They say my claims are overrated,
to a job where I ne’er participated,
and that’s why I can’t be reinstated.
If people died while I simply waited,
shown in lies and emails evaluated,
what difference to being reinstated?
My right, you see, as Royal rated
is for all to worship me unabated,
and vote to have me reinstated.
Never apologize to me for being you. Just stop it!~
Why do some of us eat the icing out of the middle of an Oreo? Where else would it be?~
I saw last night the thinnest sliver of a silver Moon,
a most pleasant crescent, present this month of June.
So thin that it did quiver and thus scant light deliver,
did I realize before my eyes it would dematerialize.
Now its gone, but before too long, watching for its rise,
to my boon: it shall return soon, as a mirror sliver Moon.
A simple rhyme takes little time,
a light banter with good cantor –
best if exquisite, expressed explicit;
easy to recall in its all and all.
In A Rush
Here”s a quick li’l poem:
done now, I’ll be goin’.
What’s wrong with the Mayor of New York, does he not know his soda ban and tax is suppressing Pop Culture?~
Unfortunately for Custer, at least 10 Little Indians never heard that song.~
Time Tells No Tales
Once upon a time? No, I’m highly suspicious.
If it only happened once, it must be fictitious,
especially if remarkably good and not malicious:
Real events repeat themselves through history,
written down in pages for study by you and me,
where learning not, we assure repeat eventuality.
Take heed, look around: here stand I, I stand my ground.
Never again will I back away, here I stand, and here I’ll stay.
Your words will not sway me, no dark threats dissuade me.
Take heed, look around. Here stand I, I stand my ground.
Never again will I back away, here I stand, and here I’ll stay.
No trick or lies, nor treachery will keep me from remaining free.
No unjust laws, cops or military will I respect, still shall I tarry.
Take heed, look around: here stand I, I stand my ground.
Never again will I back away, here I stand, and here I’ll stay.
Surround me with vile forces, I’ll ignore their foul loud voices.
Dare attack me if you will, I’ll reply ten fold until my body’s still.
Take heed, look around: here stand I, I stand my ground.
Never again will I back away, here I stand, and here I’ll stay.
They say the Earth’s rotation is slowing down. I have a simple cure. We all get in our cars and face them West, and synchronize burning rubber.~
Status Quo: Latin for we want you to think things are equal and as they should be so you
will shut up and do what you are told.
Parity: French for we want you to think things are the same and as they should be so you
will shut up and do what you are told.
Equality: Ye olde English for we want you to think things are the same and as they should
be so you will shut up and do what you are told.
Same: what we mean when we are talking about one political party compared to another,
those people who want us to shut up and do what we are told.
I thought of a Hillaryous joke, but I don’t want to keep insulting Democrats.~
Do my witticisms impress you or simply depress you?
Do my jokes make you laugh or think me some Jackass?
Do my poems seem lyrical or are they just predictable?
Do my posts give enlightenment, or seem closer to excrement?
Do you share, like, and follow, or is our friendship just hollow?
Smart by Default
Any wisdom I have lies in taking some care
in choosing the friends with whom I will share.
If smarter than me I will make them aware:
I agree with them, and with flattering flair.
If not as smart, then will I then declare,
their inspiring thoughts lead me to dare.
A tack pins things down, while pins prick things deeply, but a prick is always tacky, hard to pin down, offending deeply.~
Time for me to post-a-joke. Invented by a stand-up comic, it’s like a Post-it Pad, without any glue to hold it together — so it’s insanely presented in unexpected ways, and it is colorless, unless fucking off color or borrows the color of a racial inference. Wait… that’s a political speech.~
I think I understand the term ‘feedback loop,’ now: GMO crops.~
Shoot first and ask questions later. It saves dialog and you don’t get ambiguous answers… if there are any answers.~
I’m the first to admit I know so much about everything,
an expert assumed, presumed, or claimed unrelenting.
In truth it seems, I know not enough on any one thing,
to avoid putting my foot in my mouth without realizing.
Your Bad, So Sad. My Bad, And Glad
If you insult me, let me be quite perfectly clear,
you’d better be right in your basis, my dear,
because logic, facts, and reason, you’ll hear,
the weapons my response will burn in your ear.
Excuse me if I’m less than politically correct,
but especially if trying to point out your defect,
you have no legal right to avoid being upset
by my Free Speech, you fucking dumb idiot.
I’m not going to post anything useful, today. I hope this heads up proves useful. Doh!~
I get rejected a lot by the ladies. I asked one gal if she would like to go out on a double date, and she said “Sure. How about Judgement Day, and the Day after.”~
Hurry, hurry, hurry! Step right up folks, and get your fresh posts, right here, right now. Only $1, five for $3, and a surprise in every one, guaranteed, or your money back. Don’t be misled by the competitor’s claims; they only post kitties and slogans, and complaints that no one comments. Hurry, hurry, hurry!~
My Prayer today, is for you. There is nothing better than other people praying for you, especially if praying WITH you. We’re not getting older, just getting closer to home! Be Still, and at peace. Now, it is true that the Lord’s Prayer is quite sufficient and complete to God, but sometimes, we feel we want to say more. That is good with God.
May I suggest the prayer below? If ye pray it as you read, it is the same as if we have done so together; Matthew 18:19 “And I tell you more: whenever two of you on earth agree about anything you pray for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.” All that is required is that the prayer be righteous and fitting to God’s Will, which is defined to the extent we are able to determine in his Word. If we do not vary from that, we are apt to receive that which we NEED, if not that which we THINK we need and seek by prayer (be careful what and how you ask for [it].) Begin:
Heavenly Father, thank You for each and every day; today is a Day the Lord hath made, we rejoice and are glad in it, for You have blessed us here on earth yet again. Thank You for Your tender mercies of your Grace, and the gift of life and of Free Will, which lead us through the day; may we not abuse these gifts and offend You. Thank You for giving us family and friends to share the joys and burdens of the day. I ask You to bless my family, relatives and friends and those I care deeply for, and those who are reading this right now, especially those who are suffering and in need of your intervention.
Where there is joy, give them continued joy. Where there is pain, give them peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt or confusion, release a renewed confidence and understanding. Where there is need, fulfill their needs. Move them to study your Word, to strengthen their faith and embrace the Gospel, and to be moved thereby to spread the Word. Bless their families, homes, finances, their goings and their comings, and turn aside their enemies in forgiveness, which is to our good as well as our enemy’s good.
Above all else, may Your Will be done, in Jesus’ name,~
If Istanbul used to be Contstantinople, does that mean they got tired of constantly being in Ople, wherever that is?~
Just because I disagree with you does not mean I don’t like you. I hate everyone equally.~
A conspiracy unfolding is like a barrage of arrows in the dark. You hear evidence that something is not right, but don’t don’t get the point until it is too late. Worse, you also get the shaft.~
My mind, not very clear right now, so
writing some clever rhyming ditty? No.
But I know some of you like that stuff…
So there’s only one question:
Is this good enough?
Good example of a self-fulfilling prophesy: “I’m going to enter the hot dog eating contest.”~
It must be true that you are what you eat. I live on $3 a day in food, and one look at me and you will know, I’m a cheapskate.~
Why do they call it an aptitude test? Because if you have to take one, you are apt to detest it.~
You will note I don’t call people who don’t agree with me bad names. That’s because the bastards have thick skins.~
My computer is dying now of old age,
and while buying a new one is truly sage,
and newer models are quite all the rage,
there’s nothing but zeros on the last page
of my checkbook; no income at my age.
My mouse is destined for the round cage,
unless comes a miracle or magical Mage.
A chant can be a kind of moving song,
easily remembered for singing along.
A chant can be a loud and angry jeer,
prompting attention, worry, and fear.
A chant might be for someone; a call,
for entertainers or leaders loved by all.
A chant gives power to thought and word,
assuring its message is clearly heard.
But a chant by Monks is the best to hear,
binding us to God and drawing Him near.
If I have a Colon for which I might need a Colonoscopy, and use :s and ;s in a similar manner all the time when I write, why can’t I get a Semicolonoscopy, and save some money?~
Lately, I’ve been thinking of taking a plane somewhere to improve my sex life. It won’t matter where, I just going through TSA will do the trick.~
OK, time for me to say something funny. But that would be deja vu.~
The next time you hear some wimpy Liberal whining about some perceived micro aggression, say to them, “To quote an oft used line in The Princess Bride, my little precious Princess… ‘I do not think you know what these words mean.” Then slug them in the mouth and say, “You cannot ‘micro’ that; there would be no point.”~
Since I’m left handed, I never need a Compass; I just use my southpaw.~
Since there is no longer rule of law in this country in high places, such that no one in government is held accountable, and the very laws they write are themselves violations of law (unconstitutional), and government itself is the biggest criminal… I reserve the right to violate ANY law at ANY time for ANY reason.
My authority is the Constitution, my basis the Pursuit of Happiness declared therein, my means is Civil Disobedience, my support is the Second Amendment, my argument the First Amendment, and my goal is the Redress guaranteed therein. I rest my case, and those who choose to oppose me may rest in peace, if that be their choice. No appointment needed.~
An election process is like a stale fast-food hamburger. On the outside it looks big and besprinkled with seeds of wisdom. On the inside are secret conspiratorial sauces and lies about quality and quantity of substance, and wilted vegetable-like promises. Do you want fries with that? Cold, greasy, and slimy press coverage.~
Never wander around in the dark. That would be you watching TV ‘news.’~
When people talk about shooting at dummy targets, are they hinting at politicians?
Is that why you never see politicians at a gun shop or shooting range?~
I encourage free speech. And, I own the concession on ear plugs in the District of Columbia.~
Cat got your tongue? I don’t know how you can stand there so silently, I know I’d be screaming; that’s got to hurt like hell.~
Politically Correct is not for me, my friend,
the 1st Amendment says I’m free to offend.
My words, ideas and actions do not pretend,
that you’ve no right against them to defend;
just do so to my face with honor and it will end
with agreement or no, but still friend to friend.
Never Opt for signing a waiver,
never waiver in copping a sign;
raising up high a middle finger,
rather than your rights to resign.
Prose is prone to rhyme in a rhythm so quaint,
but to intone it sublime; a sure given it aint’
Alien observer’s notebook: Man is a lousy Plumber. He must think the Ocean is impure because he keeps trying to filter out the fish with giant mesh filters. Silly creature. When that doesn’t work, he drills holes in the Ocean floor to drain the water out.~
Someone said I might should listen to Meatloaf on CD. I don’t get it. As soon as I put a slice on the CD, it stopped sizzling and I couldn’t hear a thing.~
Does the FCC really know what they are doing? I find myself waking up to AM Radio, so I know what they mean when they say ‘Morning Radio.’ But while I can find an FM station, I can never seem to find a PM station. They need someone from the NyQuil folks to run the outfit, I think.~
The answer to the age old riddle: what came first, the Chicken, or the Egg? Answer: neither; it was the Rooster. (surely, someone else said this somewhere, sometime earlier)~
I must be a looser. There was this gal I liked who always bought fresh produce. But when I got fresh, she just slapped my face.~
To big to fail cost you and me,
for bailouts, and lost property.
To big to nail, cost prohibitively
the national debt ridiculous, be.
To big to jail cost you and me,
for hall passes for Mz Hillary.
To small to hail, just you and me,
our vote has no voice collectively.
Time to offer up a bit of wit.
Something funny to any Brit?
Are you worried just a we bit
about a future Brexit bad sit?
Afraid there’s no way out of it;
to escape a daily diet of shit,
Mushrooms often get slit and bit.
Chicken Little a warning did brae,
none believed in what he did say.
Many long years since passed away,
we still refuse to believe him today.
Yet Planet X and Wormwood obey
God’s Will and ARE heading our way.
The moral to me seems thus to say:
good Chicken Littles should now pray;
for it is written, “None knows the Day,”
I never did well in Science Class. I still don’t know the conversion factors between celsius, farenheit, and college degrees.~
Hillary avoids Potatos and Corn. She knows they have eyes and ears and might testify.~
Gmail just informed me my folder :”Hate Mail” is full. Half of it is from Democrats, and half from Republicans. The difference is, the Republicans tell me exactly why they don’t like me, and the Democrats only tell me how they feel.~
Taxes are a fiction, just as are the wages taxed; when the dollar is nothing but an I.O.U., you never really get paid, and so, you can never really be taxed or pay taxes, either. Credit and Bank Loans are a also a fiction, just as are the checks (also I.O.U.s) used in obtaining the loan or repaying it – and the bank didn’t even have the money to loan in the first place (allowed to loan up to 20 times their bank deposits). We just keep spoofing each other to solidify the illusion.~
If you still hate someone after putting yourself into their shoes… then they are obviously too tight because you are too big in your own mind for your own good, fat head.~
Be thankful I’m retired. If I was doing this full-time, I’d bore you to tears.~
Now days, the only way to achieve inner peace, is to scream at the top of your lungs for the politicians and newsmen to fucking go to hell, until they actually do.~
Dear government, and megacorps: Winning is not taking rights away with legislation or getting the contract for weapons to be used at Armageddon. These things are mutually assured destruction.~
When people say not to worry about things, “They will get better,” I think they must mean that the things that worry you will get better at doing that.~
Never take the last train from Clarksville. Its full of Monkeys.~
Open the door to news of tragedy obscene. The lunacy involved, what can it mean?
Turn on the light and survey the crime scene – see Rats scurry trying not to be seen.
Catch one, make it come squeaky clean: Federal ties found amid many lies between.
Note all such oddities you might glean, contrary to the official story quite glassine.
Compare to what others have seen, conclude just what it really all does mean.
Forget now all you once had been, you’re now a conspiracy theorist, a sin.
In case you are wondering, yes, I used to do stage comedy in talent contests. Often got a first place. That was great; being the first person put on the bus out of town, I got to choose the best seat.~
Let me apologize in advance for insulting you. I’m not going to stick around in case you start swinging.~
The Federal Gov has gotten to be such a big asshole that it doesn’t even have to fart to stink up the whole country, but it does so continuously, anyway. If Hillary is elected, she plans on feeding it beens and drinking water from Mexico, giving new meaning to when the SHTF. I’m thinking Trump is the BEANO.~
A Noun is a word that has a ROCK solid object identity.
A Proper Noun tells the actual name or title, my dear SIR, or may I call you JOHN.
A Pronoun is an Avatar stand in for IT.
An Adjective tells you a IDENTIFIABLE personality.
A Verb is a word in MOTION.
An Adverb tells you its VERY measure.
A Preposition pre positions the Noun TO Verb relation.
A Conjunction forms a junction function between word thoughts, SO don’t get confused.
A Contraction is a contracted attraction giving traction to two words as one, a marriage licensed by apostrophication, or a foreshortening of a word as a slang thang for those who were THINK’N they HADN’T the time or space for two words.~
I had a Checklist but can’t use it as I haven’t written a check since Debit Cards came out.
I had a folding Map but I can’t follow it because there is no place in my car’s dash to plug it in.
I had a Plan but I can’t follow it because the steps don’t appear on the Dance Dance Revolution pad.
I had a contract but I don’t abide by it because I already held both the first and second Parties. Sorry I didn’t invite you.
I had a Letter but Sesame Street is now on a channel I don’t get.
I had an envelope but didn’t give a lick.
I had a Folder but since I no longer need the checklist, plan, contract, letter, or envelope, I threw it away, too.~
A Conservative Politician in Office is conservative in measuring out his power to avoid angering the voter; he fears the people, where a Liberal believes that governmental power is end all-do all, and they use/abuse their power to manipulate the people by fear of government.
A Conservative Government heeds its own laws by conservative judgment, where a Liberal tends to apply grains of salt, rationalize, and bend slightly, each time taking more liberal advantage until it is in time fully lawless.
A Conservative Government writes Laws which are conservative in principles within the limitations of its Charter (The Constitution, Bill of Rights), where a Liberal (by the above means) takes liberties in lawmaking which take liberty out of the Law; they become increasingly unconstitutional and negate the Bill of Rights.
A Conservative Policy must always fit the national interest in obedience to Sovereignty and which honors the Charter, where a Liberal is interested in reformation to a new model, almost always globalist in nature (i.e., favoring United Nations, One-World Government) and is willing to sacrifice the Charter and Sovereignty for that agenda.
A Conservative Politician thinks in terms of limitations per the above, which allows personal and corporate governance to be at ‘”Liberty” to flourish and pursue happiness and wellbeing, trusting the people to seek what they will for their own good, where a Liberal thinks in terms of socialistic Agenda which stifle or suppress these things ‘for the good of the people, of whom they think cannot be trusted.’
A conservative understands that to become elected or to move legislation, there must be an accommodating compromise between the ideal and the attainable, where a Liberal will promise anything to get what they really want, or take any drastic measure to get what they want, even if it means legislation which cannot possibly achieve the stated purpose, and especially if it serves some unstated agenda per the above.~
Panic is in abundance, as is a loose tongue, when the SHTF. Calm reason and restraint is called for. Take a deep breath, grab a cold beer and reflect before commenting. But if the bullets are flying around you, SHOOT BACK AND SAVE THE DIALOG FOR LATER. That’s when you will really need that beer.~
Why do they call them a POEM when no other word quite right rhymes with poem?
Why do they call them a JOKE when the point is a hard straight poke?
Why do they call them a SONG when it’s really a sing?
Why do they call them a RIDDLE when the answer is a clue in the middle?
Why do they call them a SPEECH when it gives you the claps or makes you boo who?
Why do they call them a REport, REmark or REply when it’s actually the first time?
Why do they call them a QUESTion when instead of taking the path to the answer on your own,
you leave it to another to do?
Why do they call them a PARagraph when there’s really only one?
Why do they call them a SENTENCE
when they rarely involve a judge?
Why do they call them a STORY when they don’t have walls, cielings, or floors?
Why do they call this a POST… oh, wait, I know: because that’s what it’s as dumb as.~
Why is it that you can talk to ten strangers and 7 or more of them will believe or agree like minded if you tell them…
About a UFO you’ve seen…
About 911 as an inside job…
About Global Warming as a sham…
About CIA and the mob killing JFK…
About chemtrails vs. contrails…
About a Bilderberger NWO/Illuminati conspirators…
About mind control, gang stalking, Voice-2-Skull…
But when you talk to ten lawmakers, law keepers, medicals, or reporters about any of that… You are suddenly crazy to the point of risking forced evaluation?
Because the System and its professional armies are taught not to believe in the boogyman (who arranged for their lessons).~
The addage “Follow your dreams…” with respect to career can end terribly, UNLESS you take the RIGHT path:
1 toe in the water as a hobby… Insures you really do like it and have basic skills required.
2 build a boat taking courses in the trade, even if mail order or online. This will confirm
if you have actual talent. If not, start over w next best passion.
3 float the boat as intern. This will educate you as to the harsh realities and negatives of the
trade. Lets you confirm you like it, and regardless, gives a leg up on others for getting the job.
4 if you get this far, set sail as employee, setting aside savings. You WILL do well if you are ‘all in,’
what some call the ‘work ethic,’ which is simply doing your best.
5 with savings, buy a yacht by starting your own firm. That will plot a course to your dreams.
More: at all levels, start a small home-based business for both the experience, income, and tax benefits. This allows you to build resources (eg, instruments for a musician) less expensively and helps build your resume, client base, networking resources. I have NEVER not operated my own business since entering high school, and most related in their start to my first entry into a given field of work, at the hobby stage. I have therefore mastered and become successful in many fields and industry sectors, and despite having only a high school education, I’ve been granted four experiential degrees for the purpose of teaching at college level.~
My Mom always told me not to play in the street. She was right. The freeways are much more fun – if you are agile and don’t mind the blaring horns and screeching tires…~
What did the politician say to the activist? Nothing. He doesn’t pay attention to those voters, either.~
You are free to disagree with me as long as you understand I am never wrong and never make a mitsak ni anteing I sae.~
What I believe is true. If you disagree, screw you.
I know I’ m right, I do. I’m clearly smarter than you.
Don’t you dare try to argue – untill your face turns blue:
What I believe is due – to claims I find undeniably true.
Your facts will not do, they confuse what I know is true.
Such reality I pooh pooh, my mind made up for me, you
see; I won’t listen to you. What’s that you ask askew?
No, I no not just who said, but some kind of Web guru.
Its not important just who. But I know it surly wasn’t you.
What I believe is true. If you don’t agree, boo hoo to you.
Truth’s what I want it to be, no matter what you say or do.
A Democrat Congressman and a Republican Senator walked into a bar… Wait! That’s already as big a joke as can be…~
Notice: please note… In case you haven’t noticed before. Have you ever noticed there is hardly ever been and important notice delivered or posted such that you actually noticed? Nah, I bet you didn’t even notice any such post. I hereby give notice that, if you noticed this post, or not, this notice is not such a notice, but merely a post giving note to such.~
Dos You Got Down Wid Wad I Be Say’n Bout Dis and Dat, Bro?
Dis, Dat, and Dos, as ‘hip’ as they could be, went into a bar to get a drink. Dos bought the 1st round of beers. Once served, Dat said “Dis be good ‘n stuff.”
Dis replied “I try to be good like dat, you know? Mama sez to.”
Dat saw Dis was confused, “Thank yo for the compliment, Dis, but dat not wad I meant. We all be drink’n da same brew and dat be good’n stuff.”
Dis and Dat seemed confused. “Look, Man, dis is on tap’n we don’t be know’n wad it be,” he clarified.
Dis choked on a swig. “What yo say, bro? No one be tap’n on me, so natch, I dont know wad it be.”
“No, Man,” Dat tried to explain further, “Dis beer be tap beer. It be good, but ah dont know wad it be.”
Dis, at least, finally understood. “I got yo drift, now, Man. But I heard dos tap beers were cheap’n stuff. You know, po shit wid no taste. So wad dis be?”
Now Dos complained. “Wad yo mean… yo be sayin I bought cheep beers?”
And now, Dis was confused, once more, too. “I be just fine, bro. Why yo ask wad I be?”
At this point, the bartender happened by. “Hey, Man,” accosted Dat. “We be wond’rn… Wad be dis here beer?”
“Dat be Dos,” he replied simply. “Dat be good, n stuff.”
Dat seemed upset, now. “Look, man, we been all through Dis be’n good, n stuff. But if yo be say,n I sho nuff should be like Dos… dat Dos be gooder,n me, I take ‘ception to dat. Yo don’t know Dat, and yo sho as Hell dont know me.”
Now Dos was miffed. “Hang on a sec, man,” he said to Dat, “yo sayin yo better’n me?”
Well, things went down hill from there and it looked like a fight was about to break out, when the bartender tried to calm them with clarification. “Dis be rediculous!” he started.
But Dis did’t give him a chance to finish, and knocked him on his ass! “Ha!” he exclaimed. “Yo dumb ass be’n on da flo wid yo dumb fat mouth bleed’n wad be rediculous.”
This unexpected event had disrupted the conflict between Dos and Dat long enough that they had calmed down. Dis suggested they leave, and all agreeing, they stormed out in a huff.
As they exited, Dis noted “We stiil dont know wad dat beer be. I sho nuff wish I knew.” The others agreed, none of them noticing the neon sign in the window reading “Dos XX on tap.”~
If Trump is such a chump we’ rather dump, and Uncle Bernie is ample wormy and too squirmy, and Hillary far too shrillery under FBI drillery, then does that mean Biden is bid’n his tim’n in decid’n if rid’n White Knight style last minute to the Demo’s how we’ll be decid’n who’s presidential presid’n?~
What happens when a Socialist politician, an establishment Democrat, a non establishment Republican and an establishment Republican go into a Bar and call for a round on them, each? The price of drinks goes up, the waitresses worry about deportation, the bartender adds water to the drinks, the bouncer calls a reporter, and the Janitor worries about having to clean up all the bullshit that’s about to be spread. And, the patrons realize the hangover isn’t going to be worth it, and they leave.~
Ferris Beuller (Matthew Broderick) had it right. “A person should not believe in an “ism“, he should believe in himself.” In other words, don’t be a follower of someones ideas. If you want to make a change for the better, YOU are what you’ve been waiting for.
Here are some (twisted) examples of perhaps why isms can be problematic…
Capitalism: You have two cows. Sell one and buy a bull to start a cow factory. Worship in any church you want as long as you tithe a portion of your stock options. John Lennon is a famous millionaire singer invited to sit on your Board of Directors. Apple Computer stock looks attractive, so you merge to form Cowpile Computer.
Socialism: You have two cows. Give one cow to the government to slaughter and share with the poor. You worship in any church which is left or right of center. John Lennon is a folk singer of meaningful Marxist ballads. Apple Computer is bailed out by Congress whenever its stock falls below that of Microsoft.
Communism: You had two cows, but now the State has them, and may or may not give you some milk – if you are willing to stand in a long line. You do not go to church except to attend Party meetings. John Lennon is a decadent influence on youth. Apple Computer never was, because they refused to allow government to take more than one bite of it as it would ruin the logo.
Fascism: You had two cows but the government forced you to sell them to corporations for beans (magic or otherwise) who in turn sells the dairy and beef products back to you for huge profits. You go to the same church as the fearless leader, or you don’t go at all. John Lennon sounds like he was related to a Marxist and so he was shot. Apple Computer was burned to the ground in order to blame Compaqism and sweep Bill Gates into power.
Nazism: You had two cows but the government arrested you for hording and took them. You and your religious fanatic family are burned alive in your church for refusing to Sig Heil. John Lennon was in there with you, singing Give Peace a Chance. Apple Computer users are arrested and sent to camps for daring to ‘Think Different.’
Anarchism: You have two cows running down the freeway causing car wrecks. Shoot the tax collector, steal his money, and rape his dog (unless a hunting dog – but since it is a government dog, we know that dog don’t hunt.) You blow up the church. John Lennon sings Revolution. Macintosh Computers have a high repair rate from all the bullet holes.
Constitutionalism: You have two cows and the government cannot unreasonably search or seize them without a warrant, or prevent them from mooing, or prevent you from owning them and forming a militia of fellow cow owners who meet weekends and practice milking with dummy targets. You can’t figure out which of the thousands of churches to attend. Neither can John Lennon, so he writes Imagine. Steve Jobs was a Founding Father who wrote the ‘Consitution for the rest of us.’
Patriotism: You have two cows painted red, white, and blue. Your church supports the current war. John Lennon is boycotted, and so he has a sleep in. Apple is not sold to anyone unwilling to pledge allegiance to Microsoft products.
Militarism: You have two cows which you have convinced each that the other is seeking to invade their own private pasture. You sell arms to both sides. Your church owns stock in your company. John Lennon had his visa revoked because he was a pacifist who smoked pot. Apple Computer is what makes smart bombs smart.
Pacifism: You have two contented cows which give canned milk. Your body is your temple (and you are what you eat.) The government is headed by John Lennon. Apple Computer listens to its customer complaints.
Fatalism: Your cows died after you stopped feeding them because you figured they would just die, anyway. It was the same reasoning by which you determined God is dead. You never heard of John Lennon. Apple System error messages all start with ‘You should have known better than to think this wasn’t going to happen…’
Surrealism: You have a pasture full of Dell Computers searching the Web for the best price on a Macintosh. The government worships you. There is no John Lennon, because he would have made sense, so he instead turns out to actually be Ringo Star, who never quite did.
Bushisms: Is your cows in my Big Mac? I’m a God fearing man on Sundays. Which one is Lennon, and which one is Lennin? I will not have one of those damned Macs on my desk. Jobs didn’t contribute one cent to my election fund!
Clintonisms: Wow, look at those udders! I’m a God fearing man on Sundays. I liked John Lennon. We had a lot in common. In fact, I inhaled once, myself. I don’t know about granting Apple a GSA contract… they didn’t contribute to my election fund.
Obamaisms: Your cows are being detained indefinitely to combat terrorism. I’m a God fearing man on Sundays, unless I’m playing Golf. I liked John Lennon. I had FBI sue Apple Computer, who wouldn’t let me spy on iPhones, and didn’t contribute to my election fund.
Note: If you like the isms, they were lifted from a page full of additional jokes of greater complexity than the bulk of material in this post. Find them here: To Laugh in the Face of the NWO is the Best Form of Contempt.
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Tags: advice, gags, Humor, jokes, one-liners, wisdom, witicisms