How to Deal With Terrorism (How to Love Obama bin Laden)

A Privacy/Security Consultant’s Personal Advice in ten steps

farcical advice, that is, by H. Michael Sweeney

permission to duplicate in full with all links and credits in tact, and a link back to proparanoid.wordpress.com hereby granted

How to deal with terrorism by Obama bin Laden

Updated Sept. 16, 2012 to add 8th ~ 10th Steps, and supporting links and notes

In the face of the horror of September 11 and all the dire plots thwarted or predicted since that time, what can you do as an individual to best deal with and be prepared for terrorism? With seven books generally on topic, here is my considered professional advice in answer to that question:

1) Yawn. Even including the casualties of Sept. 11, you are statistically in far greater danger of being killed or seriously injured by a Policeman or National Guardsman than some crazed and largely imaginary terrorist. That is a fact. They would have to pretty much wipe out all of Los Angeles in order to have equal odds.

2) Prepare for the worst. Even though the Terrorist is not likely to get you, there is a growing threat to your personal security and longevity which is tied to the ‘terrorist threat.’  It’s called Fascism, variously described as a Police State, or Military Dictatorship, or the New World Order. If your prefer, think Martial Law, FEMA Camps, UN Occupation, Chinese Invasion, our next (overdue?) Revolution, intentionally Bankrupt Banks or, (gasp!) mass Walmart Closures. Regardless of manifestation or name (I prefer Shadow), and regardless of what you believe, such disaster is a more real threat. And regardless of final form, it is going to impact everyone, not just those attacked by Police, National Guard, Terrorists, and unemployed Wallmart staff.

3) Increase key supply reserves. You must presume in time of National emergency that water, foods, gasoline, weapons and munitions, and money will be very hard to come by. A smart man will stockpile. Warning. The government has defined that persons who stockpile are to be considered terror suspects, even Mormons. Weapons, especially, are a problem, as is being a member of NRA or talking about the Right to Bear Arms in public. Rural Texans, should especially beware, since they own more guns on average per family than some Swat Teams.

*note: while this is not specifically on FBI’s list, it is clear in the wake of the Aurora shooting that government is watching who buys weapons, and suspicious of anyone who collects. The WACO standoff and massacre was staged for just such cause; the ‘illegal’ weapons BATF claimed on their warrant included descriptions made up to include things which no one could possibly own because there was no such thing ever in existence.

4) Educate yourself. You must be alert to news around you from as many resources as possible. When the Sh** hits the fan, it won’t be NBC or your newspaper that gives advance warning, it will be something on the Internet or an email from someone on the front lines. Establish as many contacts in as broad an informational network as possible, especially to include Activists, who will be the first to feel the Iron Fist when it comes. Warning: The government has determined that persons who make any form of contact, subscription, or affiliation with such politically incorrect sources (like me), even when seemingly accidental, are to be considered terror suspects. Oops… too late for you, now!

•note: this is not exaggerated. As far back as COINTEL and COINTELPRO days under Nixon, government was tracking such matters, and Hoover’s FBI before that. In point of fact, illegal political spying was launched against people (including me — details of surveillance tails of my activities by up to five operatives at a time) who subscribed to select newspapers (i.e., the now defunct Washington D.C.Spotlight — the only newspaper in America to never be proven wrong in a story, and to which I subscribed), and such information was being freely traded between CIA, local Police, and the Anti Defamation League/B’nai B’rith/Mossad — and sold to anyone for a price.

5) Avoid credit, use cash. Credit creates obligations which in a time of disaster and an inability to work or access bank accounts could mean foreclosures and other negative financial harm before remedy could be managed. Warning: The government has determined that persons who pay with cash are to be considered terror suspects.

6) Form group defenses. Find others, be they family members, friends, or simply like-minded individuals to form mutual defensive relationships designed to cover each other’s back and increase the ability to withstand external threats.  Warning: The government applies the principle of guilt by association and the notion that whenever two or more citizens get together a conspiracy is afoot, and must presume them a terror suspect.

*note: This exaggerated point is based on the fact that everyone on Facebook and other social media is being spied upon by a paranoid government to see who else they are in contact with, and what they are saying/doing.

7) Have a plan of escape. Consider getting out of the country to Canada or some other nation, or escaping into the countryside as a survivalist might do, or at the very least relocating to another community or staying on the road at length. A moving target is harder to hit. Warning: The government has determined that persons who travel extensively*, and especially survivalists, may be terrorists and should thus be put on watch lists.

*note: the couple arrested were told one reason they were being interrorgated (deliberate spelling) was because they were traveling so much. Another was, they were asking too many questions about why they were being questioned! But their actual arrest was ‘for threatening an agent’ by ASKING “Am I in danger, here?”

8) Document everything. There are many reasons you should photograph almost everything, and keep good records. Insurance claims you may need to file, for instance, and proofs of ownership. On the assumption terrorism might destroy public buildings and key infrastructure, it might be good for posterity’s sake, and art’s sake, to photograph key locations to ensure future generations will be able to remember. Wish I had that picture I took of the World Trade Center some years back. Warning: FBI has told police to target anyone taking pictures of public places as potential terrorists.

9) Educate your children. If our way of life is threatened, it will be more important than ever to insure our children will know what it means to be an American so they can carry on. Help them with homework to insure they understand the political processes and political choices, and are able to grasp concepts like Free Speech and the differences between Republicans, Democrats, and Ron Paul. Warning: FBI has visited and questioned school children who’s’ school report mentioned freedom of speech and Ron Paul, and subjected them to psychological profile questions to see if they or their parents were terrorists.

10) Buy Gold and Silver. If the money collapses because of massive bank closures under Martial Law or terrorism which kills the banking system, you will need a safe investment alternative. Warning: FBI has indicated people who buy precious metals should be considered terror suspects.

In summary, you would be far safer, rather than attempting the above defensive steps,  to actually join Al Qaeda in the first place. The number of terrorists killed or arrested by government is, after all, practically non existent compared to the number of Policemen killed by criminals. Of course, that could change under NDAA, which makes murder of US Citizens legal if you are named Obama bin Laden. So at the same time, join the ACLU, as well as the patriotic Republican AND Democratic parties, and consider those memberships as insurance policies. The former to watch out for you if arrested, and the later to provide a kind of insulation against it regardless of which party is in control of the nation: they won’t want ‘one of their own’ to make the news as a terrorist, now, will they?

No. That’s when assassination is the better option. But don’t worry too much about that. Just watch the Matrix repeatedly until you can master all their defensive moves, especially the ones dodging bullets.

Sorry, but if I hadn’t misplaced my Al Qaeda membership application, I’d post it here for your convenience. That’s OK, I’m sure the CIA, who created the infamous group with the help of the U.S. Army, can provide you with a copy on request.

Related articles

• Al-Qaeda a tool for West’s political/military adventures (alethonews.wordpress.com)
• Will insurance cover you if terrorists strike? (insurance.com)
• DHS Characterizes Patriotic Americans as Terrorists (moonbattery.com)
• Osama bin Laden and the 911 Illusion – Part I of 3 (vaticproject.blogspot.com)
• Bin Laden realized the truth: Terrorism just doesn’t work (juneauempire.com)